(not quite) a literary journal


Sybil Saga: What to Expect From Sybil in 2018

As we stumble towards the end of 2017 with Disney making mad grabs for any media outlet within reach, the internet convulsing on the floor having just suffered a fatal blow, and words like science-based being censored at the CDC, many readers are casting worried eyes upon Sybil as a last majordomo of hope.

"What is going to happen?" they are asking

Looking to the future, we have a few predictions: 

  • By this time next year, the president's Twitter feed will be everyone's homepage.

  • Disney Presents: Fox News© will be state-sponsored television and every citizen will be required to watch at least five hours a day.

  • The NFL will be presented with an ultimatum: introduce Nike's new Kneel-No-More Knee-Locking Knee Braces or lose their television contracts.

  • Unemployment will be at an all-time-low thanks to the new Federal Office of Unspecified Services creating new jobs across the country.

  • It will finally be revealed that the completed Wall was always meant to keep people in rather than out.


As for Sybil itself...

Fox News and The New York Times began the process of turning the public against Sybil as early as November of 2017.

By December, Disney will pick up on criticisms of its latest Star Wars film made on Facebook by a Sybil writer, and will then turn their fully operational media force against the journal with a Sybil Supports White Genocide campaign. 

In January of the new year, the Sybil 3 will be charged with the new crime, nestled deep in the tax reform bill, of Upsetting the Status Quo, and will be arrested by the newly established Office of Unspecified Services. Their trial will be held on national television with Trump himself serving as judge in the first ever episode of his-soon-to-be-mega-hit President Judge Trump. 

The Sybil 3's lawyer may very well attempt to use reason and rationality in a plea against the law rather than the crime, but will be quickly hushed by the judge. If she then turns to the camera and attempts to address directly the American public in the only language they understand, it could go something like: "Star Wars has always been a story of ragtag rebels against an evil empire. You can support Luke and Rey. Now look at our situation. Trump is the evil empire! This is your chance to step up and be a rebel!"

During a commercial break, a Disney representative comes over to speak to the lawyer. He explains to her that her argument makes sense, but that it wouldn't work, saying, "Why do you think we make movies about rebels? It's so audiences can let off a little steam in these fictional universes and return to their own feeling satiated, with no desire to rebel."

After that, the lawyer is stumped and Trump makes quick work of the case. He even gets to try out his new phrase, for which Disney had been forced to buy the rights to Game of Thrones which means HBO which means Time Warner, but it proves worth it for the big reveal.  

"I, President Judge Donald J Trump, Lord Protector of God Almighty's Fifty United States, sentence you three to take the black."

An excited murmur spreads through the crowd, but two of the Sybil 3 look confused.

"What the hell does that mean?" Martinez asks.

"It's a reference to Game of Thrones," Buckholz explains to him. "I guess we are being sent to the wall?"

"You are correct, Mr. Buttholes," Trump grins baboonishly at the camera. A Presidential Tweet flashes on the large projector screen behind him:



And another, which seems to hit him just then, as he begins to poke out a new tweet with agonizing speed:


Following the trial, any attempt to access the Sybil website becomes a crime, as does possession of any of the journal's prior publications. Cast into the national spotlight as despicable criminals, most of the country comes to hate the Sybil 3 and rocks are thrown at their prison transport bus on the way south. Loyal supporters are forced to drop into hiding and devote themselves to the People's Fiber, a rebellious project to create a new internet. 

As the Sybil 3 are made to spend long days on the wall facing north, reporting any movement they see, their supporters go literally underground in the name of truth and freedom, to connect fibers and tubes. 

In very unblockbuster fashion, there is no quick solution, not even a montage to collapse a long period of time into an enjoyable sequence. On the wall, the Sybil 3 spend grueling day after grueling day sleeping in cold cells, eating prison food, and peering into desolation. Even their refusal to report on their comrades escaping from the dystopia to the north prove fruitless as loyal drones do all the work. 

Away from the wall, DM Rice, Sybil's guest contributor, goes into hiding to avoid arrest. DM adopts the name Boo Boo Glass after receiving a package from one Bessie Glass with instructions to do so. The package includes identification cards and a social security number under the new name as well as information for a bank account with $17,000, and an apology for it not being more. 

Further instructions advice Boo Boo to travel to San Marcos, Texas, birthplace of Sybil, where a plan is being hatched to infiltrate the wall, free its prisoners, and escape south to Mexico in order to regroup.  

A collection of Sybil readers and supporters of Spencer's The Eyes of Texas, calling themselves The Bananafish, await Boo Boo, who takes zigzagging Ubers and Lyfts from Bessie-approved drivers all the way across Texas. 

However, Obadiah Elihue, the investigative journalist long obsessed with the Sybil 3, and now under the employment of the Office of Unspecified Services, is tipped off about the gathering. He waits outside the meeting place for Boo Boo to arrive and then raids the small house with a large team of federal agents under his command. Mass arrests are made, but Boo Boo manages to escape by throwing themself into the nearby San Marcos River and allowing the current to carry their injured body south. 

For days, Boo Boo travels downstream, sleeping on the bank, eating raw fish, and drinking river water, as agents swarm all around.

The San Marcos River flows into the Guadalupe which eventually empties into the Gulf of Mexico. Boo Boo follows the river all the way to this destination where they become the first Sybil writer to meet Bessie Glass in the flesh. 

She greets Boo Boo as a mother who has failed her children, and Boo Boo is left to comfort her, but eventually she is able to explain that she created Obadiah, just as she created Sybil. That he turned against her years ago and that is why he is so dead set on destroying her new creation. 

"And now," she cries, "I have failed again." 

"There is hope for us yet, Bessie," Boo Boo says, face illuminated against the ocean, as a boat comes near the shore, the name Fat Lady painted across her side, flying the Texas flag made famous by Spencer's Eyes of Texas, with hammer and sickle replacing the star.

"There is hope for us yet."


sybil sagajake buckholz