Sybil Saga V: Witch Hunt

FOR THE UNINITIATED: 

(You can catch up here with Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4)

tl;dr: The Sybil mythology has grown to become very dense and self-referential, but I will attempt to boil it down here. It began as a one off joke casting The New Yorker as our bitter rival. In the post-truth/fake news era we live in, it found space to expand into a trilogy in which the 3 Sybil founders (Jake, Stephen, and Rudy) take on Donald Trump, The Office of Unspecified Services, and Obadiah Ellihue.

After the Sybil 3 are charged with Upsetting the Status Quo, they are made to face those charges on the new television show "President Judge Trump". They are found guilty and sent to man Trump's Wall. In the Sybilverse, not only has Trump succeeded in building his Wall, but Russia and the United States have invaded and now occupy Canada jointly, and the government has absorbed the entertainment industry and founded the Department of Interior Entertainment in order to bring in revenue.

D.I.E. amusement parks have popped up across the country with a Game of Thrones themed park built into The Wall. Rudy is sent to this post-modern prison/amusement park where he is brainwashed into believing he is a brother of the Night's Watch. By the end of the initial trilogy, Rudy is saved and the Sybil 3 escape The Wall thanks to their mysterious benefactor, Bessie Glass. However, the fourth installment finds them in a rather hopeless situation, living as fugitives in a safe house in San Antonio, being looked after by a group of Bananafish, which is the name that Sybil's supporters have given themselves.

Things begin to turn around when Sad Girl no last name comes into the picture. Rumors of a new SpongeBob-themed D.I.E. park being constructed off the coast of Florida lead to an epic heist in which a magical pencil (or weaponized 3D Printer) very similar to the one in SpongeBob Season 2 Episode 34b, "Frankendoodle", is stolen by the Sybil team. The pencil has almost limitless potential, but can only be wielded by a worthy artist. Alyssa Franks, accompanying Bananafish, succeeds where the Sybil 3 fail, and lifts the pencil, but their plan is almost ruined when a mysterious stranger moving at superhuman speed appears and tries to take it. This is our introduction to K-Swift who we learn escaped from a government testing facility many decades earlier. She is only stopped by Sad Girl's ability to manipulate the sadforce, and in the end she realizes they have a shared enemy and joins forces with Sybil. The crew is able to escape the park with their lives, and the pencil, but find themselves in a situation more precarious than ever. Not only are they still living as fugitives, but their new friends with supernatural powers make them more wanted than ever. How will they ever get out of this one? 


Shortly after Sybil's attack on the SpongeBob D.I.E. park, President Trump declared an official Witch Hunt and deployed a special branch of the Office of Unspecified Services.

In his Twitter rant making the news public, he declared that certain members of the Sybil Squad were "ACTUAL WITCHES" with "REAL WITCH POWERS". He again cited that he had been unfairly persecuted in his own witch hunt, and that there had been no collusion. He then changed gears and began to discuss the occupation of Canada as being for the good of the world, citing that Canada could not be trusted. In another sharp turn, it seemed he was about to reveal that one of the new members of Sybil was an escaped government experiment dating back to the Kennedy-era when Twitter went down under mysterious circumstances. 

jjrpgcd8_1osqxni_1o0sm9u.png

The Witch Hunters took to the Florida peninsula under the command of General Aslan Bolton. Obadiah Ellihue had pursued the Sybil squad through the Caribbean, but lost them in the waters between Cuba and Florida where he was surprised by the remains of Bessie Glass's Rebel Fleet. 

Rumors that the Sybil Squad made land and were laying low in a safe house somewhere outside the Everglades made its way through the country, reaching friend and foe alike. After months of stringing together clues, Bolton and his team of ex-SWAT commandos, crashed into a dilapidated house north of Miami, but found it freshly abandoned. The Witch Hunters gathered everything that had been left behind, including a few journals found wedged between a bare mattress and the wall, and headed back to Washington where they handed the two diaries over. The president picked up Rudy's first, but Martinez had duped him again. He'd cut up his entries and rearranged them into poetry that Trump couldn't make head or foot of. The President tossed it aside angrily and turned his attention to Buckholz's diary. Opening to the first page, he puzzled out:

05/01/18

I can’t stand it. I CANNOT be in this house anymore. I mean, a magical pencil that can be used to create anything and what is the first thing she draws? A damn squirrel! It follows her around everywhere. It never sleeps. It makes a mess out of everything, and it tore open my Oreos and ate them all! It was so round and bloated that I thought it might actually die, but it didn’t. Alyssa felt bad. She tried to draw me some more, but they tasted like lead, and of course we couldn’t leave to go get any. Only K-Swift can do that and we haven't heard from her in days. She is supposed to be contacting Bessie, but who knows. We don't know much about her. For all we know, she could be the real enemy, off leading Obadiah to us or these new "Witch Hunters" that I've been reading so much about. I don’t know what to do. We have to get out from under His thumb, so that we can live again. I feel like I am wasting away in here and I know I’m not the only one.

Trump then skimmed through a few more days worth of internal drama, letting the loose pages of the damaged notebook fall where they may as his aides frantically scrambled to comb the pages for any hint of where the Sybil Squad might have fled to. He arrived on something that interested him a bit more which Buckholz recorded about a week after the initial entry. 


05/09/18

We had a strange visitor arrive yesterday. Or, the man himself was not so strange, but the fact that he was able to find us. He called himself Eddie and said he was looking for Sad Girl no last name. We dragged him inside and questioned him on how he found us to which he responded that Bessie sent him. He repeated that he had no interest in Sybil or our status as fugitives, but only in Sad Girl’s powers, claiming that he had a similar power, but he didn’t want to prove it because it was a terrible power. He said he had the ability to Echo.

But we didn’t trust him. Especially Stephen. He thought Eddie was from the Office of Unspecified Services, maybe one of Ellihue’s spies.

“Do it to me,” he told him. “Prove it.”

Eddie’s color drained and he shook his head.

“You couldn’t handle it,” he told him. “I don’t know you. I don’t know what you may have done, but I know that you couldn’t handle it. Nobody can. I am telling you, it is a terrible thing.”

"What is it?" Sad Girl asked, "and if it is so terrible, why would I want to learn it?"

"I don't know that you could learn it. I only know that we are similar, and, if you come with me, I know someone who can help you reach your full potential. We have been watching you."

"I said what is it?" Sad Girl repeated, and a faint but menacing glow appeared in her hands. Eddie backed down and explained that he could make people feel all the suffering, physical as well as psychological, that they have caused other people. Stephen looked a bit uneasy, he glanced around the room.

“I could take it away,” Sad Girl assured him. “I mean, if he can really do it, then I can take the pain away.”

“And put it where?” I asked.

We looked around, my eyes locked on the squirrel’s. "I know somewhere we could put it," I started to say, but Eddie interrupted me. 

“We don’t have to do this. Come with me and train. I can teach you how to harness your powers. Sadness can be compressed. You don’t have to swallow it or give it to someone else. Come with me and I can show you how.”

“Where?”

“It’s a sort of school in New York City, for special people, people like us.”

“What the fuck is this, X-Men or something? She’s not going anywhere. We are wanted fugitives! Haven't you heard, there is a Witch Hunt on," Rudy broke in.

“Trust me, we know a thing or two about hiding,” Eddie said. 

“Bullshit," Stephen cut in. "This whole thing is ridiculous. It, it—"

“I know how this sounds—”

“It sounds like bullshit,” Stephen repeated. He'd positioned himself between Sad Girl and Eddie, as if the stranger was going to grab her and run. I moved that way myself even though we were in the minority, not having powers like the others, unworthy, as I was, of even lifting that damn pencil.

“I am not the enemy here," Eddie continued calmly. "She will be free to leave whenever she wants, but she has a gift, and I can help her hone it.”

“Prove it,” Rudy said again. Now the Sybil 3 stood together between the stranger and Sad Girl.

“You don’t want me to do that.”

"Prove it on me," Squirrel said, stepping forward to cool the situation. No one spoke up, so Eddie sighed and faced the squirrel. His hands began to glow with a bright white light, but Alyssa stepped forward before anything could happen.

"Squirrel, you have never done anything to harm anyone. You are perfect," she assured him.

"Aw drats," Squirrel said. I stared in disbelief, remembering my Oreos. And so I am no one, I thought to myself. Can't lift a pencil, don't have any super powers, what good am I?

"Do it to me," I said, suddenly sick with frustration. 

"I am telling you—”

It feels strange to remember this, but I actually shoved the man. He nearly toppled. We’d been cooped up for too long and I was still upset about my failure in Bikini Bottom. I pushed him and was about to push him again when Eddie lost his patience. He raised one hand and it glowed silently. Then I dropped heavily to the ground and began to moan. Quickly, Sad Girl jumped into action and drew the sadness out of me, but the weight of it was heavy even for her and she looked desperately for somewhere to send it.

Stephen stepped forward and accepted some and Rudy followed his lead, then Alyssa and even Squirrel, and several of the Bananafish who we'd been able to reach via The People's Fiber. I blacked out and slept for a full day, dreaming horrible dreams. 


"Another witch," the Witch Hunter said after reading the entry. "A whole school of them training somewhere and they are joining forces with Sybil. Sir, I am going to need more men to carry out my mission. I have to request the K-Team."

"How the hell do you know about them? That is information of the highest degree of classification. If word were to get out to the public that they existed" Vice President Pence shouted. 

"With all due respect, sir, the President Tweeted about them."

Trump's pale lips flickered into a grin.

"Yes," he said. "It is time to release the K-Team."


05/12/18

When I returned to myself, K-Swift had returned with news from Bessie. We were to move forward with a new initiative. 

"Doesn't she understand our situation?" Stephen asked. 

"She understands it better than anyone. She knows we are folk heroes and wants us to take advantage of it. We are strong enough now to protect ourselves," K-Swift urged. 

"What does she say about me?" Sad Girl asked.

"She wants you to go to New York and sharpen your powers."

Sad Girl nodded weakly, looking unsure.

"But she doesn't want you to go alone. Alyssa, Squirrel, you are to go, too. And you Rudy. You must all go and look out for each other. As for me, I am to return to San Marcos. There is much work to be done there. Stephen, Jake, she wants us all to go back and start a leaflet series."

"Back to San Marcos?" Stephen asked. "How is that safe? Surely Obadiah and the Witch Hunters are crawling all over that town."

"Bessie says we will be safe. I am to go in first with the pencil and create our headquarters . We have people there who will help us. The more we grow, the more people who join our side, the more danger we will be in, but the safer we will be."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"You know how Bessie likes to speak in riddles."

So I guess it is decided. Sad Girl, Alyssa, Squirrel, and Rudy will go with Eddie back to his school, and the rest of us will return to San Marcos for the first time since we were arrested and begin growing our numbers.

Sybil Leaflet Leads to Localized "Etymological Phenomenon"

Local coffee shops have reported huge increases in business with many attributing the recent surge to Sybil's new leaflet series. 

 The progression of Issue 1

The progression of Issue 1

"We are excited about this," Sybil co-founder Jake Buckholz told me one afternoon when I found him distributing the leaflets around town. "We are hoping that it is going to increase our readership and also just be something that is kind of fun for everyone. We have done multiple printings of the first issue already, but it has been impossible to keep them on the shelves. Look, I am a busy guy and my printer is very slow. I wish I could stay home and make copies all day, but I've got my crickets to look after," he said, explaining that he worked full time as an insect farmer in the Texas capital. 

Stephen Spencer, co-founder and poetry editor, went on to say he had broken up several scuffles between patrons of the coffee shop where he spends his days as a barista who'd been wrestling over the last available leaflet. 

"I went ahead and pinned the final one to the community board, so that everyone could at least have a chance to read it," he told me, out of breath and with a bruise forming on his cheek from an elbow he'd taken in his efforts to break up the looming brawl. "We'll get more out, but people are just so impatient. Who can blame them though? There is some great stuff in this issue."

After searching for Rudy Martinez, the third founder, and finding only rumors that he'd disappeared to the east coast on some sort of mission for the young journal, I instead met with a local professor of anthropology who specializes in linguistics. 

"It was so strange," the doctor told me, "but about a week ago I began hearing this word everywhere: bumwipe. It was bumwipe this and bumwipe that. And it was everyone who was saying it, not just my students, but fellow professors as well. The head of my department sent out an email that began Dear Bumwipes. It was such an etymological phenomenon that I had to get to the bottom of it. Lo and behold, the word was featured in this leaflet as Sybil's Word of the Moment and it just took the community by storm."

"I don't want to give too much away," Buckholz told me during our meeting, "but we have some big plans for the next issue which will be out by the end of this month. We are bringing in one of our favorite artists to really make it look good this time and we will be paying tribute to a core group of our featured artists who will shortly be making a move across country. I think people are really going to dig it." 

For now, you can find small numbers of Issue one at sporadic intervals in several coffee shops across San Marcos. 

See America Right: a 4th of July Reading List

While the World Cup is whipping up national pride across the globe, for many of us in the United States, it is difficult to find anything over which to feel proud. Deep cracks have broken out across the American visage, and something truly ugly is showing underneath. For some, the solution, no doubt, is to dig in, ignore the cracks, and lash out at anyone who brings attention to them, still others are down right celebrating the now blatant ugliness, but here at Sybil we'd like to applaud those doing the pointing and those who believe that simply patching up the cracks and paving over the ugliness is not the solution we need. 

Listed below are several pieces of writing which I believe have the power to open eyes, inspire passion, or offer comfort in these difficult times. 

 

 by Rudy Martinez

by Rudy Martinez

Opinions, Fall 2017, by Rudy Martinez:

While Martinez's highly controversial 2017 essay, "Your DNA is an Abomination" may seem like an obvious choice for this list, I am actually going to suggest a lesser known collection of the writer's op-eds which he wrote as a student for the University Star. More than showcase an important stage in Martinez's development, the collection remains just as relevant now as when it was written and contains such hidden gems as "Mr. President," which seems to almost anticipate the eerily chummy tone Trump employed in his own "Dear Mr. Chairman".

 by KSwift

by KSwift

The Real Enemy, by KSwift: 

Swift does nothing to baby her audience, and that is one of her best qualities. We need artists of her caliber to push us all along because we no longer have time to waste. Her italicized letters cut through layers of bullshit and land squarely in the ego of The Real Enemy. 

Nonsense, by Stephen R. Spencer II: 

These are frustrating times and this is a poem born out of that frustration. The closing ellipses have long eluded definition, and have caused a schism that has broken the school of Spencerists in two. One half argues the ellipses are ironic, and, even if there is a bit of hope in the final line, the following three dots act to bludgeon that hope to death. The more hopeful of SRSII's readers see the ellipses as a drill bit, ready to punch holes into the dark as soon as it has enough power behind it.

Squirrel Girl Goes to the Bathroom, by Alyssa Franks:

In a system that can crush the individual and leave them feeling lost, stunted, and empty, the importance of the Squirrel Girl series cannot be understated. The lessons taught here are of such a wholesome nature that in the hands of a less skilled artist, they might come across as cheesy, but are saved from that fate by the artist's supreme pen and wit. Franks' unnamed squirrel is sure to be an important companion to a countless number of women and men alike for years to come. 

Post-Scarcity Love, by Jake Buckholz:

As With Martinez, Buckholz's essay White Apocalypse, written in response to an early draft of "Your DNA is an Abomination", seems like the obvious pick for this list, but I have chosen this fictional piece which takes place in a world very different from our own because it opens a conversation which is not currently had enough: No, we don't want this, but what do we want?  

When Lebron Met Spike

By: Jon Brodnax

It's as pure a basketball city as it gets. The Yankees, Mets, Jets and Giants go on a losing streak and you can find tickets like finding a hipster on the L line. On the other hand, Knicks seats are ALWAYS a hot commodity. Which is a product of NYC truly being "the Mecca of basketball." Lebron could win 20 games every year he's there and you would still see a marketing and cultural buzz like never before, and just when you thought those couldn't get any bigger. Even bigger than the buzz that came from "taking [his] talents to South Beach" and the marketing that comes from being Nike's "billion-dollar athlete" would be taken to unforeseen heights if you throw in true "King of New York" status (sorry, Bernard King). But what are the factors?

"Why the hell not?! I can't turn this historic franchise around? Fahgetaboutit!"

  • Lebron (and Nike) know better than anyone just how much record-setting money this move would generate, regardless of on-court success. And if the stars aligned and they did compete for titles, the profit would be even more exponential.

  • Unless he fails to make the playoffs with the Knicks year after year, this move could only help his legend. Taking them to the Eastern Conference Finals (ECF) and losing would still be met with great praise unlike doing the same thing with Cleveland. Leading a Knicks team to the finals would rightfully take away the "King of New York" honor from Patrick Ewing and give it to him. And if he won one of them joints??? FAHGETABOUTIT!! Mayor (Bill) De Blasio might as well turn over his keys and go back to hanging out with the Goodfellas wannabes down in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Winning one in New York is like winning two or three in Cleveland and he knows this.

  • Throughout his career, he acknowledged Madison Square Garden (MSG) as his "favorite place to play."

  • Paul George and/or Chris Paul sign with Knicks. If they get both, it's a done deal. I feel that just Paul George signing in NY would draw Lebron in more than just Chris Paul, as the Knicks have a lot of young talent they're still trying to foster at the point guard spot.

  • Kristaps Porzingis is undeniably healthy and ready for a next season.

"Nah homie, miss me with that mess!"

  • When Kevin Durant was shopping around during free agency a few years ago and Steve Kerr was looking for a new job, respectively, THEY WOULDN'T EVEN TAKE A MEETING with the Knicks, not one... We all know it's likely the biggest organizational joke in the league but just what is going on with that front office?

  • The immensely incompetent James Dolan is the of "O'Doyle Rules" of NBA owners. Well, a dweeby version. His father handed him a historic franchise he was in no way ready to own and operate and his relentless ego has solidified him as nothing more than a detriment to the franchise. "Beginner’s mind," "coachability," "learn to fail or fail to learn," however you wanna put it, James Dolan ain't got it.

  • Like a quarterback getting drafted by the Cleveland Browns, there's just this perpetual vibe around the league that the Knicks are the soul-crushing stop where stars get lured in and slowly lose their competitive. As if no extra effort, pay cut, or act of "Trusting the Process" is ever worth it when you play for the Knicks.

  • They don’t even treat their legends well. Need I say more than Charles Oakley: For 10 years, with pride, every damn night, this dude sacrificed his body, protecting the paint during the most physical era the NBA will ever see. And Dolan, clearly, could give a damn.

  • Kawhi Lenord and/or Paul George sign with the Lakers: A move like this, plus adding Lebron, would put the Lakers in "win now" status and would make the Knicks an afterthought. However, given the pictures of Coach Pop's recent visit to South California and the blatant, "I'm gonna keep it real with ya, chief" conversation they had, I think all the Spurs drama is just hype and Kawhi will be back next year. Lebron and Pop have developed a genuine relationship in recent years and Lebron is going to meet with the Spurs which leads to my next thought.

  • Does Lebron want to win now or later? Does Lebron care more about winning a title in a few years or getting back (and continuing his absurd streak) to the Finals next year? Even if Paul George and some other considerable talent signed with New York as well, it’s a near-certainty that they're still going to have at least one "rebuilding year." While going to the Rockets (if Chris Paul returns), the Spurs (If Kawhi Lenord returns), the 76ers or just simply staying in Cleveland and adding one more stud (a Kyrie-esque player) would put him in an immediate championship contending position.

  • An asshat like Enes Kanter is the one "recruiting" Lebron to the Knicks. The reality is that he ain't recruiting jack shit and if Lebron wanted he could pay Kanter to press his suit shorts and carry that $41,000 man-purse around for him. But, it would be nice if there really was a respectable player "recruiting" Lebron and trying to reel him in.

  • The Porzingis injury is worse than we had hoped for and he is in fact going to sit out next year: Sorry Knickerbocker fans, Lebron ain't coming.

So, what do I think is going to happen?

Do a quick side-by-side comparison of those bullet points and it should be obvious which direction I think the scales will tip. I just feel that there are too many unpredictable factors at play. Unpredictable unless Lebron, Paul George, Chris Paul, Kawhi, etc. do some serious behind the scenes scheming about linking up, which is unlikely. Also, I feel that the desire to guarantee being in championship contention for next year combined with the reality of who James Dolan is, will ultimately keep Lebron out of Gotham City.

What do I think would happen if he did sign?

The cheesy videos of Lebron hanging out at Rucker and taking the train like your everyday average joe would be endless—and ya know what? They wouldn't bother me. As much as he would have capitalism sucking at his (and Nike's) teat, Lebron would bring inspiration and liveliness to a culture of youth that could use hope more than just about anyone. As to what I think would happen on the court? We would see 3-4 years of exciting basketball, involving a dynamic three-headed monster of Lebron, Porzingis and someone else. But, a title? Nah. The Finals? Maybe. Most likely, by the end of his New York stay Lebron would have one or two Eastern Conference Finals appearances but the combination of talent, youth, energy and culture that the Celtics, 76ers and Raptors possess would be too much to compete with.

And this is coming from a Spurs/Nets fan, mind you. I would want nothing but success for Lebron because that would equate to nothing but success for The City. The "oh, come on, it's just basketball, not everyone likes basketball" argument wouldn't hold up in that city, not with the kind of buzz a successful Lebron-led Kicks team would generate. People would be sliding into that ticket office like when Kramer needs to borrow Dijon from Jerry. I've even been dubbed a "Lebron hater" in the past, but if he played in New York, I would wish him championship after championship. He would provide much-needed optimism and to the youth and, in a certain way, unite New Yorkers like never before. The feeling among fans would be that regardless of your race, class or status: Welcome to Knicks Nation.

On LeBron James and the New York Knicks: A Discussion in the Clouds

By: Mr. Downtown '92

According to NBA Insiders at ESPN, writing their “Ultimate ‘Grade A’ Mock Draft,” the New York Knicks will likely draft an undersized and defensively-challenged guard from the University of Oklahoma named Trae Young with the ninth pick in the 2018 NBA Draft (Update: the Knicks drafted Kentucky’s Kevin Knox, passing on Missouri’s Michael Porter Jr., whom I believe is going to be a star). There are concerns regarding Young’s recovery from a recent back surgery and I’m not convinced that he is the best running mate for rising-star Kristaps Porzingis, himself coming off an injury-riddled season. But, this is what the Knicks do: They make mistakes (see: Update). Mistakes that seem obviously moronic given enough hindsight. Examples from the last 15 years include the hiring of Isiah Thomas as president of basketball operations (December 2003), signing underachievers like Jerome James to sizable contracts, and trading for hometown products Stephon Marbury (’04) and Carmelo Anthony (’11). There are plenty of more mistakes I could list but, as a current resident of New York City, I’m not going to do the Knicks like that.

I bring up the recent past of the Knickerbockers because of a video I watched concerning LeBron James’ impending departure from the Cleveland Cavaliers (again). Max Kellerman and Stephen A. Smith were discussing which team “needed” LeBron James more: Was it the Los Angeles Lakers or Gotham City’s Knicks? The NBA’s two biggest markets have been eluded by success during this decade of small-ball and now the greatest player of our generation is a free agent yet again, meaning Knicks fans can begin to daydream once more of the franchise acquiring its first-ever superstar.

That’s right, the New York Knicks have never had a true superstar on its roster.

This is the grand revelation granted to me by Kellerman and Smith. Both Talking Heads discussed Patrick Ewing, a phenomenal center and future Hall of Famer in his own right, as the closest entity to a superstar the Knicks have ever had. But, it’s agreed upon that he was a notch below transcendent talents such as Bill Russell, Wilt Chamberlain, and Shaquille O’Neal. Plus, he never won a championship—the three men I mentioned did.

Bernard King, the “King of New York,” son of Brooklyn, once had back-to-back 50-point games against the San Antonio Spurs and the Dallas Mavericks, but he was no superstar. He was one of the greatest scorers to ever play the game, ascending into the top 50 on the all-time scoring list with a vast array of moves on the perimeter and the paint. But, as Kellerman points out, he was not an “above the rim-type player.” This is in distinct contrast to contemporaries like Julius “Dr. J” Erving and Michael Jordan, whose mastery of the air led to their being two of the most influential figures in basketball history (i.e., superstars). King’s description would also apply to the Knicks’ last high-profile acquisition: Carmelo Anthony. Melo’s time in NY was defined by frustration and disappointment, both from Anthony’s momentary lapses of reason and the Knicks’ ineptitude as a franchise. A melancholic homecoming that ended in a whimper, to say the least.

Should we even really discuss the Marbury/Isiah Era?

Earl “the Pearl” Monroe and Walt Frazier: Legends amongst men, but not superstars.

Chances are, LeBron James ends up in Los Angeles and doesn’t win another title. However, Los Angeles is on the up-and-up: Players (see: Kawhi Leonard) want to play in Los Angeles. They want to be in Los Angeles. The Lakers have the cap space to sign two superstars this summer and immediately ascend to the top of the basketball world yet again. Players aren’t salivating at the thought of playing in New York and they haven’t for a while.

Even if LeBron never won a title for New York, and he won’t, it would change the face of this franchise if he played 41 games at the Garden every season for the next three to five years. As LeBron nears his mid-30s, I have full faith that his game will adapt to an inevitable physical decline. Imagine that? A graceful older LeBron dishing out at least a dozen assists every night as Kristaps realizes his full potential and Spike smirks on the sidelines.

We’ll have battles, which we’ll lose, with Philadelphia and Boston, but a bit of order will be restored to our increasingly chaotic world because one of the best to ever do it will live in the Mecca of basketball.

 

So, my question is: What would a late-career LeBron James mean to the New York Knicks?