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Nothing a Hot Bath Can't Fix, by KB

 

Bath so hot I can’t get in

That album-game over to pretending to want to go out
Tears spilling over trivial shit like coming home to an empty house and missed adventure

Unsent texts and tissues under my pillow
breaking bottles and breaking skin but never want to pull something permanent

Caring so little you eat that taco that sat in your car all day
I feel like shit anyway

How strong is my resolve to leave the bottle of alprazolam in the back of my drawer?

Tattoo ideas and searching for flights
Sadness is so corny
Red eyes and screaming so typical

Pointless posts on social media because I need to say SOMETHING but I can’t say “I’m drowning”

I can’t say my grandma is a child again and I’m going just as crazy as these people spinning in
circles looking for dead husbands

C store for waterbeers and a naughty pack of spirits.
Shitty old beater has its bass all the way up with rap in Spanish. Eyerolling at my self because it couldn’t be more staged with this lil me sorority lookin ass bitch next to them dabbing hands
while holding a pack of bud light
Pregnant lady smells like loud buying a 6 pack of wine because she’s “taking it easy for the baby”
Why is the world so unfair?

I keep telling myself it all evens out but I’m still not sure
Lying to my friends is easier than lying to my self

Another reminder that martyrdom is not the fucking look
Why can’t I give my self a chance?
Blow off your friends and leave them hanging in your plans

Automatically thinking of who to cuddlefuck to forget about the person you want to snuggle
Throw a bandaid on it and text an ex

I felt like I couldn’t cry harder but smoking in this bath makes me feel instantly better
How fucked is that being so easy?
Idk how il ever quit

Time to call that ex, but he really is a friend
Notice my plugged-in phone dangles carelessly close to the water
Maybe I do still somewhere in there wanna die?
As my foot slides down the tile knocking on the hot water
Heart beats quickly, this meta experience
A moment at a time
Where from here?

I’ll always have this music
The song ends with one last beautiful and somehow hopeful chord
Stacks

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Photography by Nathan Bailey

Photography by Nathan Bailey

poetry, KBSybil Journal