'How to Live Again' and Other Poems, by Chandra Grace Johner
How to Live Again
(previously published in Fleet: GUU’s Creative Writing Journal)
To be human is to wear a mask; to remove the mask is to be monstrous.
X. Consider removing your eyelids, exposing the entire surface area of your eye, so that maybe, this time, you can see clearly, & the tears can flow freely.
X. Stay away from self-help books, cross-fit, & crucifixes.
X. Immerse your entire form, from the chin down, in hot wax, let it dry, then walk around as it moults off your body. Observe everyone’s disdain. Those who do not mind may also be trying to live again.
X. If you must read a self-help book, please refer to Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, also referred to as the Modern Prometheus (Lackington, Hughes, Harding, Mavor & Jones, 1818).
X. Abstain from cigarettes, processed foods, mindless consumption, suntanning, & silver.
X. Go to the movie theatre & observe the audiences’ emotionless faces as they stare at their phones upon entering.
X. Did anyone try to peel the wax off of you? Beware. Peelers often don’t know when to stop & may peel back your skin, bones, & organs, thinking they are doing you a favour. They’ll peel you into oblivion & expect a thank you.
X. If you are really committed to living again, consider getting fitted for a cape or dressing like a vengeful wizard.
X. Return to the movie theatre, observe the audiences’ emotionless faces as they stare at their phones upon exiting.
X. Seek to befriend others trying to live again. They often can be found in bookstores with poor lighting, walking around the woods at night, or lingering around primordial swamps. They will be attracted to large bodies of water, but, beware, not all at the shoreline are trying to live again.
X. Peelers are not to be confused with zombies, who rip out your insides in order to feed knowing full-well they are killing you, & whom you should easily recognize this time around.
X. Have you ever witnessed someone sighing aggressively into space? Chances are they are trying to live again.
X. If you think you’d like to start dating, wait until the wolfbane blooms & the moon is full & bright.
X. At times you may regret your decision to try to live again, but once you’ve removed the mask, there’s no going back.
X. Those trying to live again may also be found at kaiju movies, air shows, & mausoleums, or simply standing in the middle of a field or a river; however, they will never be found vaping or drinking Red Bull.
X. Remember, living again is associated with the same risks of disappointment & pointless wandering as before, & an increased likelihood of experiencing inconsolable longing & alliumphobia.
Writing Exercises
(previously published in From Glasgow to Saturn)
X. In a notebook bound of unicorn hide & using invisible ink, write down 99 words for salvation
X. Put a ball of tinfoil down your throat & record any sounds you are still able to make
X. Enjoy a field trip to your local graveyard & do not leave until you interview a ghost
X. Cook a 5-course meal & throw it on the wall, then pen down your feelings about the artful composition
X. Write lists about Donald Trump & leave them at people’s houses; then proceed to
X. Write down the names of the friends you still have & family members who still talk to you
X. Enjoy a quest to find the Mirror of Truth, hold it up to others & record the results, then hold it up to yourself,
immediately smashing it after
X. Remove the tinfoil ball from your throat, spit up the blood onto the page & decipher its prophecy
X. Attempt to recite the invisible words for salvation on a busy street corner & silently curse your choice of ink. Record people’s angry reactions to your performance, but this time choose a more reliable medium like blood or tears
X. Set fire to your unicorn-skin journal & start tattooing your exercises on your own skin
Things They Won’t Tell You About the Riverbed
(previously published in Midnight Ink)
X. Everyone knows the dead must drink from the waters of the river Lethe once they enter Hades, but few people know the reason why.
We’ve been told the waters clear the burdens and suffering from our minds before we enter the Underworld, or that it cleans our soul’s slate in preparation for a new life, should we choose to live again.
But that is a lie.
X. The Japanese call this river Sanzu and you will need six coins to pass.
If you have lived a just life, you cross at the bridge; if you have at times strayed, you must walk through the shallows, braving it’s cold and current.
If you have chosen to inflict sorrow upon others, you must pass the deepest part of the river, where demons swarm the riverbed.
Here they will undress you and weigh your clothes, measuring the bad karma you’ve dragged with you along the way, so they may add it your next life’s lot.
You will forget who you are, but your karmic debt does not.
X. Another lie they will tell you is that the Plain of Lethe is a barren waste, when in truth the river feeds the fertile and fragrant Fields of Asphodel and its golden flowers, a soft and holy place few actually get to see.
X. Benveniste called this river “water memory.” Just as experiences come and go, yet leave a memory in our minds, so, too, does water retain memory. They will tell you he was wrong.
But that too is a lie.
X. The truth is Lethe was once a young girl like many others: unwanted and alone. She and many like her wandered the world, cast out, unwelcome, unloved. Treated as a burden or punishment, their names too terrifying to say out loud, lest the speaker attract bad fortune. Dysnomia, Ate, Lethe . . . Daughters of Strife.
Lethe, whose kindness and gentle nature could not be moved, even by such cruelty, set out alone. She began to tend the flowers and streams of an isolated valley, far from the world of man, near the realm of Hades. Bringing beauty to its gardens and joy to the creatures who lived there, she enjoyed life at long last and was happy. Her dark neighbour, Hades, looked upon the valley with gratitude from his grim throne, and so, for a time, she was left in peace.
But, her peace did not go unnoticed by those who had cast her aside. Stories of her joyful, solitary existence set their spite blazing. Unable to abide her happiness, they ravaged her valley, pillaging the gardens and stomping the flowers; hunting the creatures and befouling the streams. Then they came for her.
Hades, enraged by the destruction of the small bit of beauty he had so enjoyed, appeared at Lethe’s side. About to strike the offenders dead, he was stopped by Lethe, who said these people’s character, and what they allowed themselves and others to do to each other, was punishment enough.
Hades stayed his hand, but in his mind he had already decided their fate. Taking Lethe with him, he turned her into a river spirit; the last waters anyone would taste as they shuffled off their coil. Any mortal could drink and drink, and yet never satisfy their thirst, while Lethe took their memories and carved the truth of who they were and how they lived into her riverbed.
X. The truth is riverbeds are fossilized memories. Touching your lips to the river transposes your memories into water that will embed your life into the earth, leaving a permanent record of who you were and the content of your deeds.
You may forget, but the riverbed does not.
Chandra Grace Johner is a Canadian writer who completed her MLitt in Creative Writing at the University of Glasgow. She typically pens stories and poems about folklore, modern mythology, exploration, and belonging, but, occasionally, even stranger stuff finds its way out. Her debut novel, Naked in Turkey, will be released in April 2026 by AOS Publishing. You can find more of her work in FLEET, From Glasgow to Saturn, Livina Press, Midnight Ink, and Feral: A Journal of Poetry and Art.
Photogrpahy by Chandra Grace Johner